Midnight, Music, Musings Part 3

As late as it is you would think I would be sleepy. I don't sleep well at all, but then...I am a human receptacle for stress and anxiety. And I can't seem to convince my other half that he can't use me as a dumping ground or we won't last long. Yeah. So there's that. The truth is often quite difficult to speak aloud. But when you have to protect your health you have to speak up. So I have.

So here I am. Awake. Anxious. But that's life. Listening to music and pondering my strategy on rebuilding my health..and my life.  Well, and least the low-carbing is going steady and strong.

Note: Fat Bombs work!  Easy on the fried stuff. Don't over-do dairy or protein, do 2-3 fat bombs a day. Working for me.

The disingenuous scale

Well, as far as 'weight' goes, the scale does this ridiculous up and down thing, hovering on digital insanity.  Appearances can be deceiving, so I'm not worrying about it, but it is really is nice when you can SEE and measure progress in numbers when it comes to this whole fat loss thing.  Damn scale, how I loathe thee.

But then, my appetite still hovers in the deep abyss that even I can't reach or understand.  Although, I have experienced a slight twinge of hunger a couple of times lately.  Maybe that's a small start of something more 'normal' in terms of...well, of whatever.

Yesterday was a total bust though, as I wasn't able to take in more than about 700 calories.  Yeah.  I know.  Dangerously low.  But many days I fight to get in 1300 to 1500 on average, and I have to get that in at one meal.  Low carbing means I can load up on the healthy fats and raise the calories enough to sustain life.  ha ha.  That really was supposed to be humorous.  But without a good appetite, getting enough to eat is a struggle, and it is as hard to lose fat NOT eating enough as it is when you're eating too much.

The good news is that I'm finally OFF the protonix!  THANK GOD!  Took popping carafate and going through discomfort, but I'm off.  I'm on another class of OTC medication for reflux as a bridge until things settle, then I can wean myself off of that.  But so far so good!  And one of the side effects, or lack thereof, of getting off of the PPI is that I can sleep better again!  I knew getting off that crap would be a good move.  :D

Well, I have about 21% power left to do some research for the rest of the master bath restoration.  And I mean, this is a full-on restoration.  The whole bathroom is being gutted and replaced.  :)  So I'm off to do that....

Laters!

Weight loss, good. Thriving, not so good.

Low-Carbing seems to really be hitting the sweet spot as far as weight loss, and there is still much to be done as far as tweaking things a bit so that my energy level rises enough to feel more like a human being.  I can live with that for now.  But I'm thinking it's all the other debris that I need to clear away that will fuel the fire of vitality.  Not sure how to do that just yet, but I'm working on it.

I mean, finding answers to complex issues isn't always the easiest thing in the world, but I can keep at it till I drop, that's for sure.  IF I don't have constant interruptions making things even more difficult than they are.  THAT is another talk show (DAMN but I need breathing room!).  Even so, I can't just rollover and give up, so it just may mean breaking out the big guns to keep on going.  Fine.

There are so many things I miss about having my own space, and that will be somewhat rectified soon, but I'm making a list of things that have to be dealt with, things that MUST be dealt with in order for me to thrive, live.  LIVE.  This has to be done.  PERIOD.  There is no more putting this off.

List of things that have to be rectified.  A list of goals.  Let's just say... there are going to be a few lists.

I've pulled the cord, gotten off the train, and I'm standing on my own two feet, even if I'm working on my energy level.

It's done-deal.

Done.

That's an awful long track with a lot of possibilities....

And when the magic happens anyway.....

Well, I've found my sweet spot and have lost about 5 lbs in 5 days!

After about a week of not really understanding how the NEW Atkins WOE worked (due to contradictions, thank you very much), I decided to go with what Dr. Atkins had originally designed...and it's working.   Goes to show you... if it aint broke, don't fix it... is still the best course of action.

(stop staring at the woman with the cat already!)

As for anything else I can note today:  On the down-side.. I've been waking up a couple of hours after sleeping and not getting back to sleep for an hour or two or more.. ugh.  Not sure what that's about, except that I'm suspecting it's stress-related.  Oooooh, but I'm sure it's that!

Energy, despite the lack of decent sleep, is on the rise a bit.  Improvement is definitely something to celebrate, right?  Right!  So I will continue with this WOE and keep plugging along.  So far I'm pretty happy with the result.  It's early, so there will be much to tell as the days pass.

At this point I'm not sure what plans I have as far as how long I'll remain on Induction, but we'll see.  I'm just happy with what's going on right now.

Yay!

Now...if I could just get the rest of my life to sort itself out, that would be awesome. ;p

Slow but sure in this low-carb world

Plugging along and thinking that I could have done better without all of the conflicting information!  Thanks, whoever decided to change the way Dr. Atkins was doing things!  If it aint broke, don't fix it!  Hey, some cliches are still worth reciting and remembering!

For starters, I wasted money on the new edition of the Atkins book.  No joke.  Too much changed, and conflicts out that wazoo!!!  I mean, seriously??!!???  What in "High fat, low calorie" makes sense on ANY planet???

You should have seen me struggle to make THAT work.  No.  Really.  You shouldn't have.  8  days was enough.  Sheesh.  After coming to my senses I ordered the 2002 book and will use that from now on.  Hindsight and all that junk.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

I'm winging it and trying to adjust a few things to make it work.  Not easy, but not that difficult either.  Just takes a little perseverance on my part, and a whole lot of asking questions from the group I belong to.  One must never underestimate the power of such resources, trust me.

Feeling crappy overall, but after being stupid and using salt the way I did... hopefully I'll feel a little better over the next couple of days.  Heart isn't behaving as erratic since I've backed off the salt and upped the water, so that's good.  And I think I need to start taking my Vit-D again (5,000 mcg daily).  I tend to get deficient easily, so that could be one reason I'm feeling low.  Also ordered multi-vitamins that are sugar-free, gluten-free, dairy-free... basically crap-free.  Those will be here soon.

Begun using more of the pure virgin coconut oil in place of the olive oil, backed down my protein servings by 2 oz each and upped the fat/oils a bit.

So with all this said and done, we will see how things progress from here.

I'm tired and am way late for lunch.

Laters non-taters! lol ;p

It's been a rough few days

Atkins.  Day 3.  Okay.  Easy.  No cravings.  Going through carb withdrawal is fairly east as well because I wasn't eating much in the way of starchy carbs or sweets (only once or twice in the past month really).  Smooth sailing so far.

I'm going to give it a few days and see what happens with the carb withdrawal symptoms.  Not giving up or anything like that, mind you.  It's different than the way I'm used to eating, and it's also very weird for me as well.  Just a wait and see situation for the most part.

Life is weird as well.  Weird.  Weird.  Weird.  Most days I feel like I've woken up and found myself on another planet and have NO idea why the hell I'm here.  That's another talk show.

And those damn dreams.  STILL freaking weird.  WTH is up with that?

Odd.