Relationships. Dieting. Health. Healing. Life. Living. Hope. Freedom. Self. Respect. All the connections exist to either lift us or knock us down in our efforts to better ourselves. With regards to dieting and weight loss there is nothing more damaging than being around, or living with, someone who doesn't have your best efforts in mind. Most of you have experienced this, and those of you who have know just how much long-term damage comes into play when someone sets out to sabotage your efforts. Despite all the asking, begging, pleading and demanding... that person, or persons... simply cannot see what they're doing, even when you point it out to them repeatedly. So what the hell to do?
I've been here before but was able to rise above it all in the long run. Thing is, when this happened I didn't LIVE with the person. Now I do, and I'm here to say that it not just changes how you see a person who works to do harm to your health, it changes the way you react to them; I've also been there before too.
There are several ways people sabotage your weight loss efforts. Here's just a few:
Repeatedly offering foods/desserts you can't have on your diet.
Telling you "One bite isn't going to hurt you."
Feigning hurt feelings when they bring food to you and you refuse to eat it.
Keeping foods that aren't on your diet in the fridge or cupboards.
Baking/cooking things you can't have.
The above list is merely a drop in the bucket, but it's the list most people who've experienced this kind of sabotage.. would recognize. But there's also a list that people may not recognize right away, and that one is the most insidious, and the most damaging of all. People who do these things REALLY do NOT have your best interest in mind and, in many cases, the efforts they make ARE malicious. If you're with a malignant narcissist then you've experienced this for sure, even if you weren't on a weight loss program. KNOW what you're dealing with, because bettering your health is IMPORTANT, and no one, NO ONE has a right to get in your way.
The most insidious and dangerous of actions:
1. Insisting you eat unhealthy foods, or not saying anything when you make the choice to eat something not very healthy, but making fun of you or lecturing you for making that choice.
2. Making fun of HOW you eat.
3. Making fun of or criticizing your body WHILE you're eating.
4. Lecturing about how you look in your clothes or out of them.
5. Lecturing you at the store for what you buy.
6. Bringing 'forbidden' foods to your house when they visit (if they don't live with you) and scolding/criticizing you when you eat what they brought. Same goes for when you're at their house.
7. Trying to control when, what, how, what time you eat.
The above list isn't all possibilities, but they are the most common according to professionals, authors, and those who've have these experiences. And I'm not talking about one or two people, but upwards of hundreds of thousands of people who've had this happen. And many experts say.. it's in the MILLIONS. All I know is that MY experiences with this have been with just two people, and I'm here to tell you that if you don't put your foot down and demand respect... those people will walk all over you. Not only will those people walk all over you but they won't stop and will get worse the more weight you lose. Basically, they don't want you to succeed.
You're weight loss efforts are about YOU. And yes, you can say you're doing it for the kids or your wife/husband or your job or whatever, but what it comes down to is YOUR HEALTH. You and your health are the biggest and most powerful reasons for losing weight etc. I'm no expert and only talk about MY opinion and experiences, what I've been told by a professional. So I can't TELL anyone what to do or what your personal truth is. Only you know what's best for you, so listen to your instincts, your gut.
As for me, I'm very protective about my health, and I'm not okay with people treating me like shit, with disrespect, without kindness or compassion. If someone wants to treat me like that.. they can hit the dusty cow pie trail and get the hell out of my life. My last experience with that type of person STILL has negative effects on me, and I have HAD IT.
Now, it's particularly difficult to diet during the holidays, which is why most people start their diet at the first of the year. I'm no exception. I've managed to slip through the holidays unscathed for the most part, but the closer to Christmas it gets, the harder this becomes. For me, it's not just about the goodies and such, it's also the depression that comes with the holidays. It is what it is. So be it.
Bottom line is if you go on a weight loss plan---stand up for yourself if someone tries to sabotage your efforts. If you choose to wait to go on a weight loss plan at a later date because of a holiday or other event---Don't allow anyone to BULLY you about it! It is YOUR choice, NOT theirs. Please don't ever forget that, because if you do choose to put your diet off for a later date and you allow yourself to be bullied about it.. you may not get back on that diet journey for quite some time. I'm not kidding about this.
Yes, everyone is different, but I know for a fact a few of you (and you know who you are) have dealt with this or are dealing with it right now. And... it's NOT okay.
Be strong, no matter what you choose, and watch for those signs of those who don't have your best interests at heart.
Till next time....
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