What part of "At the bottom" don't you get?

The diet, still postponed because there's no food in the house to accommodate a low-carb eating plan. Tonight was supposed to be the night to cook, prepare, etc. for what I will need during the day.  Not going to happen, as T has decided to do some errands after work.  Granted, I know what the errands are and agree they're important.  But damn.  Let's get this show on the road already.

Depression is at my heels constantly, and while it's not exactly like I'm moping around crying about everything, it's disruptive nature has a voracious appetite, is tenacious as hell, and very unlucky to give up easily.  What I'm left with is anxiety and a 'flatness' that is almost worse than any imagined 'sadness' I could be dealing with.

So tonight it's Chinese food.  Could be a lot worse I guess.  But I miss clean eating and would like to get this whole diet thing rolling.  The longer I put it off the more anxious I become.

I despise depression, especially when you know why it's happening and have no way to get a resolution... solution.  So frustrating.

Trying to make it through this evening is pretty much where I'm at right now.  I'm going to be watching a movie, and... hopefully I'll be sleepy by the time it's over.  Oddly, "Sleepy" these days don't guarantee sleep.  Funny how that works.  Oh well.

It is what it is.