To tell all, or not to tell all---that is the question

Or is it?

I've been trying to bring myself to a place where I can unload, completely unload here on my blogs.  Not just this one, but all of them.  I get so close sometimes, and yet I seem to pull back once my fingers hit the keyboard.  What the hell am I so afraid of?

I created my blogs to have a place to talk about things, to sometimes vent, to sometimes ponder, to just.. talk.  And yet I find myself skirting around the facts and splashing vague hints on the page instead of just telling it like it is.  What will be the catalyst... the one thing that will have to happen in order for me to 'get there'?

My blogs were created for the very purpose of writing my thoughts and experiences, hopes, dreams, wishes, dislikes, or what-the-hell-ever.  So why aren't I doing that?  Why do I hold back?  This is the dilemma, isn't it?  Not being able to speak my mind?  And WTH is that really about anyway?

I often wake up on the morning with SO freaking much to say!  I go to bed at night with the intense need to get stuff out of my head and out in the open so I can see and deal with it.  But do I DO that?...put it all out there?  Hell no, I don't.  And there's just so much to say, to tell, to unload.

This particular blog was created specifically to write about health issues, diet, and... to allow my flirty side come out and play.  Oh, it may seem odd at first, the idea of those topics coming together in one place.  But if you think about it, it actually makes perfect sense.  So... why have I failed so miserably here?  Well, I wouldn't call it a 'failure,' exactly.  But I haven't succeeded in really letting go and telling whatever, which was my intention.

And trust me, there are lots of juicy bits to tell.

Perhaps I need to make it a goal, a REAL goal.  You know, finding a way to open up completely and talk about whatever the hell I want.. without remorse or looking back.  Apparently I'm a total wuss these days, and I really need to fix that, like, asap!

Okay, self... we're going to work on that.

But I do wonder...  Is anyone REALLY ready for me to do that?