If it's not one thing....

....It's another.  Such is life, right?  Enter, Prednison---and gone are the days when 'dieting' takes off the pounds and inches.  Now aint that some sh*t?  Most people have to diet while on Prednisone just to maintain weight or slow the gains.  And there is absolutely NOTHING you can do about the chubby face, etc.  Once Pred is stopped and the body resumes normal function of cortisol.. things will go back to normal.  In the meantime, I feel like freaking Violet!  Ugh!

The pic on the left is how I USUALLY look, but I can hardly recognize myself at the moment due to the chipmunk cheeks and overall massive bloating.  *sigh* I honestly feel like Violet... *sigh*

Will I get back to that same level of health?  I wish I knew.  The Prednisone bloat/weight will go away once I'm off the Pred, and I'm hoping everything will be back where it was prior.  Thing is, that photo of me was taken even while I was unknowingly in the throes of the AIH.  It's all in the eyes, too... I look tired.  But oh boy, right now my eyes are ridiculously swollen (like the rest of me), and my eyes are sunken with very dark circles.  For all practical purposes---I look like a sick person.

Will I ever look or feel well?  This is the burning question I have day to day, and as much as I set out to overcome the 24/7 hunger, eat ONLY the right things, I end up giving in at some point in the day.  It's relentless, but I can tell it's already getting better now that I'm down to 15mg/day of the Pred.

As I'm tapering, I'm wondering about how drastically my diet is going to change given the circumstances OUTSIDE the Autoimmune Hepatitis.  Low salt, low to no sugar, low fat, and possibly having to give up all the things that irritate the stomach and intestines, such as wheat, dairy (including eggs), and significantly reducing the amount of fruit I eat.  I've not been eating much fruit at all, though, which I do wonder about.  I love fruit but have lost my taste for it, and many other things, over the past several months.  Part of this, I think, is due to the medications altering my sense of taste, but I also believe that there's more to it as well.  Either way, I wonder what I'll be left with to eat once problematic foods are eliminated?

Low protein, low salt, low to no sugar, avoid processed foods when possible.  I just don't know, but it's not going to be easy to do this.

Leaning on the idea that exercise is supposed to be good for me, KNOWING this is the case for people, all the questions regarding the possibility of Myositis being one of the problems are still there and unanswered.  I've yet to get on that exercise bike because I know that if it is myositis and it's in an active stage, exercising is a bad idea because muscle wasting/damage occurs when the disease is active.  You just can't 'damage' muscles if they're already be damaged, because they won't repair.  Exercise creates muscle damage, and it's within the process of repair that they're made stronger.  This isn't the case with Myositis.  Neato, huh?  Yeah, not so much.

I'm tired of the IF situations.  Oh you've NO idea.  And feeling how weak my legs and arms are even ON Prednisone sets off the warning alarms inside, cautioning me to hold back until I have the go ahead from my doctor.  Looks like I'm going to have to see another rheumatologist as this is their territory.  I won't go back to "Dr. Mumbles."  Honestly, Dr. Mumbles really should retire.  When you disconnect from your patients and spend less than 5 minutes talking to them, when it's obvious you're pretty much going through the motions to the point where you miss significant findings.. it's time to retire.  It's just time to retire.

Well, it's that time of day again... when my energy begins to crash and my limbs become impossibly weak and tired.

I'm out of here.. for now.