Talking Out of Turn

Let's just take a moment and think about what makes us who we are, all of the intricate cracks, splinters, pieces of who we were, barely recognizable, all just a scattered mess unless we take time, real time, to put it all together again.  And it's never ever nice and neat or like it was before, is it?  No, we mostly just end up a glorious and colorful mosaic of experiences and dreams all glued together haphazardly by a frantic and shaking hand.  The end result is still beautiful, and yet still leaving beauty to the eye of the beholder.

Regret can't be a part of this process if you want to come out on the other side a victor of your own war.  And yes, it's definitely war.  Some of you know what I'm talking about here.  It's a lot like walking into the light after extreme darkness.. only to find out you've just stepped out of the place that offered little risk.

As this ever-evolving work of art that all of us are shifts, we make adjustments in order to re-fit and replace ourselves within the environment we're most used to.  Change does that, you know, makes it so there's just enough discomfort to force us to wiggle a bit inside the cocoon.  And good for you if you DO change, because I'm telling you that if you don't... you'll live in that discomfort until you do.  There simply aren't any other choices.

"I am still the same!"  Pretty much, this is the truth, yes.  I'm still the same person I've been my whole life, it's just all the pieces that make me who I am are rearranged a little differently now.  In essence, this means I'm still the same but having to learn how to fit into my environment again; and this never stops.  Go with it, learn, be malleable to life's shifting scenery.  It's what needs doing.

I'm doing just that.  Why?  (see above).

The shifting scenery of late has been more like an earthquake; the pieces are still falling.  What do I do?  How do I adapt?  Hell if I know.  I just have to adapt.

No one asks 'where' I am in my life, what I want to do, where I'm going, where I want to be or how I'll get there.  No one asks.  And if I offer, unsolicited, I find myself basically talking out of turn, because the story is always about someone else.  Mostly, I'm okay with that.

If I don't speak, don't talk about this, I'm really just standing in a wasteland of a static environment that holds no actual future for me, not to mention I'm basically waiting for the debris to fall and crush me right where I stand.

Fuck that.

.....Does this many ANY sense to ANYONE at all?

Or am I still talking out of turn?